Why do people blog? me, personally i just want a place to write about my miseries and complain. Thats why i dont really promote or encourage people to read my blog. To be honest, i dont even let my family read my blog. I dont really want them to know what i'm really thinking most of the time. I'm guessing people blog to share their everyday experience with people (mostly friends). Yeah.. what the heck.

 

    Today i woke up late. But suprisingly when i woke up, i ddnt have that weak and want to sleep feeling. I was wide awake. My bro didnt put up much of a fight to wake up that morning. He had sports day today, so i didnt have to worry bout him getting late to school. Basically everything was going swell and i was quite happy. Went to school with a big smile on my face. MIB, we went through our exam paper. no big deal. Atleast we didnt have to do any hmwk for MIB *YAY!!* Went to physic, we learned about the cathode ray.. I found it pretty interesting with the green flourescent glow and all. I did space out for a few minutes at the beginning of the lesson. When i was back to reality, i was like Oh shit! what was mr kwan talking bout??. I tried to catch back into the lesson. Sha and Mar(i think) was going yes..yes.. when mr kwan was talking which i found very funny and a bit distracting. Erma and Ilham was like i dont get it.. throughout the lesson. XP

Maths was fun.. As usual the right side of the room was having fun and laughing around. They made a fuss about some Pri 6 student that was in our school. i didnt get to see them. I guess they were out by recess or somehting. During break, someone and his group was making noice all of the sudden and when i turned to look, i didnt really care. *YES!! i didnt feel a thing! Bye2 mr.*. Hope that'll last.. XP"

 

The spoil of the day began during english. I thought i already had a plot for the friendship compo at breaktime but when i came in, i immediately read that the plot had to have some kind of moral in it. I re-thought my idea and decided not to risk it. I went with the examinations should be abolished instead. But i mood was ruined cause i kept thinking bout that friendship thing(the topic means a lot to me considering my past and all).. i finally handed in an unfinished compo cause i was sick of it already and didnt want to continue in the afternoon..

 

Mrs phang's class was WORST!! She started snapping at us cause we couldnt answer correctly when we were doing the correction. For me, my brain was running slow after that compo thing so i was processing slowly. She could have waited and people would have given a correct ans. She thinks we're robot, spitting out million answers every sec or what?? She went on and on about our english again. How we're all still in la-la land thinking bout bf/gf only and its all always about us thinking we're the icing of the cake and saying we're like less than crumbs. from all her lectures its like this is way harsh since it was like all the lects grouped into 1. She made me feel like dirt and i was soo not in the mood to hear all that right then. For the record i already know that i'm not that much of an icing on the cake, i know that i'm crumbs and i dont think that highly of myself. I'm not in any kind of relationship. STOP TALKING LIKE THATS ALL WE THINK ABOUT. EVERY MINUTE SHE KEEPS REPEATING BOUT THAT RELATIONSHIP THING AGAIN, IT MAKE ME LIKE AAARRRGGGHH!!! STOP IT ALREADY!! I've been telling myself since prmary school that i'm not that good and no boy would like fall inlove with me. YOU DONT NEED TO REMIND ME OF THAT. I NOE IT ALREADY. I was thinking about all she said over and over again and my expression went from bored/annoyed to hot and i could feel tears trying to come out. I put my hand near my face to stop myself. I tried to control myself until i left the gate at school, while walking home i was already sobbing. after locking myself and crying in my room i was fine, i made sure no one knew..

 

In the afternoon, my mum asked me if i wanted to straighten my hair again. She finally agreed. In the past i was like why cant i straighten my hair?? i know its expensive but we have the money, i know i check bills and go wit my mum to banks and pay bills and i know how much my dad earns a day and how much his debt is, but when my mum agreed i felt guilty, like i was going to waste my parents money. But i really needed to straighten my hair so that i could get a haircut..some of my curls are still high up, so unless i want to cut really really short hair, i'll have half curls half straight hair, that wouldnt look good.. *sigh* I guess i'm still keep thinking like i was a kid when my parents were having money problems. That was one of my worries when i was small..i didnt want to burden them. After like an hour of thinking and asking around, i decided, i needed the change. So we went to the salon, unfortunately i needed to make an appointment first so i'm up for tomorrow at nine am. I hope i like my new haircut.. i dont want to think that i'm wasting my parent's money

 

damn.. this blog thing was supposed to show that i'm happy.. but now..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

School's starting tomorrow! Scared..

 

So.. i did the physic homework this morning. My pencil case didnt dry so i'll have to use the other one.

Looking back at this holiday.. I say its not a total bore. Within this holiday.. played loads of DDR (disney rave, uk edition, super nova. haha alot) with cuzzies. Slept overs at cuzzies house increased. Still had the moments were i couldnt find anything to do.. but its okay. Sydney was a plus. Much better than Dubai. I had a crying spell.. but thats good since i decided that i should start changing how things are a bit. I thought i'll start with a new hairstyle but..my haircut session didnt go well and i end up with the same hairstyle only a bit UNmessy. You cant tell the diff much. owh well.. i want a real change.. Still have to wait for dad to come home to hopefully paint my room.. I need to be more open and change my personality a bit. I know i need to find time and just let it all out to someone.. but i'm a bit scared to start doin it. I dont want to talk about all of it to a family member..

 

I found my two ol' diaries. Couldnt open them cause i lost the lock. maybe one day i'll go smash the thing open. Found old letters.. made me sad cause i thought i didnt have real friends but i realised i was the one blocking myself from them.. bla bla bla..

 

Why do i even bother writing here. No one reads it.. Smooth move making the blog on your private account rather than your main.. hmm... if no one ever reads this i could even write secrets and no one will know. just like my old blogs. just for me.

*sigh*Five days left till school starts. Stuck at home.. nada papa kan di bwat di umah. Boring bnar eh.My mum even considered pergi KL. My dad ckap tdi pergitah! haha. Malas ku eh kan pergi. Nada ayah..boring tue.. klau sma ayah mesti ia bli2kan brang mahal2. haha. Tpi strict plang tue..nda kna bgi duit bnyak.. XP Spoilt bnar ku nie eh.

 

Cant wait for Hana Kimi two to start. Tpi tahun dpan.. lama lagi tue. Bejam-jam liat episode2nya di you tube and endingnya nda brapa siuk. Eka mau dorang becouple.. Ndapalah. Nanti diri jua geram c Ella cium c Wu Zun. hehehe. God i'm addicted to hana kimi, fahrenheit and most importantly.. Wu Zun! He's so cute. :P i'm turning into those girls yng gila2kan artists.

 

What happen to the tom boy-ish that I used to be? Even my wardrobe has changed.. More girlish. I lost my sense to mix and match to still have my own style.. -_-'' But i'm still not wearing skirts shorter than 3/4 of my legs. >.< Another thing is my hair. Its gotten so long.. But i dont know how to cut it. I love my precious curls! haha. Cant imagine myself in straight hair like i used to have. But it would be great to be able to comb my hair again..SOMEONE GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS!! (Mcm tah ada org baca nie..)

 

Homework blum siap..project document blum siap..English 1 paper msih not sure ckgu dah jumpa kah nda.. I DONT WANT TO TAKE THE TEST AGAIN!! Half of me dont want to go to school. There's people there..looking at me..expecting something i dont know what to do.. *_*

 

K lah. off to listen to more Fei Lun Hai music.( Yet i dont even know what they're singin bout.. But it still sounds nice)

First of all i just wanted to say.. I made a really long and eventful blog which accidentally got screwed up before i could save it. I also made a nice video clip of when i was in sydney but the program got stuck also before i could save it -_-"

 

 

 

I wouldnt recommend sydney for shopping much unless you're all into buying all branded stuff. I only mostly bought souveniers(a must of course XP) and jewellery. (honestly i dont need anymore jewellery but i didnt want to go about and not buying anything). I had to buy gloves cause my hands were freezing.

 

 

p.s. I finally got loads of pictures! and i'm not forced to take them. they were willingly done. haha

 

Thats all for now. Malas udah nie. off to humiliate myself in a game of DDR. :X

Okay.. So this is my first blog entry. Dont expect anyone to read this.. Saja kan buat something new